


Lips of an Angel

by fuckyouall



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:22:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7521868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckyouall/pseuds/fuckyouall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was always the one ready to jump off a cliff if it meant I could be with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lips of an Angel

It was 2:48 Am when he heard his cellphone ring, his heart stopping at the sight of who was calling him, after two months of no contact between them. He got up and went to the living room carefully trying not to wake his wife.

“Honey why are you calling me so late? It’s kinda hard to talk right now”

_“I know, I’m sorry”_

“Why are you crying? Is everything okay? I’m sorry I’m whispering, I can’t be too loud, Lindsey’s in the next room”

_“No, nothing is okay. You’re not here anymore, It’s been three years and it still hurts to hear your voice, and yet, I still call because I need to hear it, it makes me feel safe”_

“Sometimes I wish she was you, y’know?”

_“I guess we never really moved on, Gee”_

“I love hearing your voice saying my name, coming from the lips of an angel it sounds better.”

_“You’re so cheesy sometimes, I love you”_

“It’s funny that you called, I had a dream about you”

_“I dreamt of you too. But I bet yours wasn’t a sex dream like mine. Things got a little awkward when my wife heard me moaning and thought I was dreaming of her”_

“No, it wasn’t a sex dream, sorry. It was just us; you know? We were at the park back at Belleville. Does she know you’re calling me? Won’t it start a fight?”

_“She doesn’t have a clue, I think, anyway”_

“Frank, we have to go back to sleep”

_“I don’t want to say goodbye”_

“Honey, neither do I, but Frank, we have to. You make it hard to be faithful, because every time I think of you, I remember the taste of your lips, and the feeling of your fingers touching my face, and your embrace. I can’t do it, I just can’t, you know it.”

_“What do I do when I’m so in love with you, Gee?”_

“I don’t know, Frankie. I’m still in love with you too, and the distance doesn’t help with anything, because I still wish you were here, with every inch of my heart.”

As silence fell upon them, Gerard thought about how they needed to stop contacting each other. Again. It hasn’t worked so far, but it has to work. When they were together, it was never more than ifs and maybes, and both needed more than that, they were hanging on a line, and it would break, whether sooner or later. All he could hear now was Frank’s sobs and it broke his heart in a million pieces. He always hated to see him cry, especially when he was the reason. But here they were once again, crying for each other, killing each other, wishing for each other’s presence, but they would never make up for the lost time. They had different lives now, their own family that wasn’t consisted in five guys in a van, they weren’t together anymore, and never would be.

All they had left was the memories, and the feeling that never died, even with everything they went through, the love remained, like they knew it always would. Sometimes, you fight hard for love, and sometimes you give up; in some way, they gave up, but still kept trying because they couldn’t love each other romantically, yet, they did. Their goodbye was “I really love you, but I can’t love you, so I’ll leave you, even knowing it won’t do any good for either of us”. When you love someone that is far away, only a phone call can be enough, but it can’t at the same time. You listen to your beloved’s voice, and you feel like everything in the world is perfect, but you crave more.

“Remember our last show?”

“Yes… I do.”

“When we were playing the last song, I never wanted to stop. It would be the last one then it would be over, Gee. I still don’t understand why.”

“There’s nothing I could say now, Frank, you know it. We were supposed to stop after The Black Parade… I needed to focus on my family”

“We were your family too”

The words weren’t harsh, but it was like a punch to his stomach. Frank had that effect on people sometimes, he would say unnecessary truths to your face, and it would hurt you. There was a time when he would talk to Frank about literally anything, like why his favorite color was his favorite color; and to this day, Frank is the only one who knows.

“Don’t make this more difficult than it already is, please baby. It’s been three years”

“It feels like a decade. Every day without you is like an eternity, I can’t – I can’t deal with this anymore, I just…”

He could hear Frank’s sobs, they sounded like bullets going through his chest, stopping right in his heart. It wasn’t just a sad cry, it was a desperate and sad cry, as if through his tears, he could explain how he missed Gerard, how he still loved him and would wait if he had to, no matter how much it would hurt.

 

_February, 2005_

_“Frank, I think I’m in love with you”_

_Frank just looked at him with that playful and childish smile, as if he already knew what Gerard would say. Those were the moments he loved the most; He and Frank were alone, lying next to each other, just there, trading glances and giggles._

_“I know you are.”_

_“How?”_

_“When you do something you love; you concentrate on it. When you draw, for example, your brows furrow, and you have this spark in your eyes, I can just tell you love it. And I realized that you started to look at me with a spark on your eyes, and pay attention to what I say, you stare at me, too.”_

_“That’s why I love you. You just… you never fail to amaze me.”_

_“I love you, too.”_

 

“Please stop crying, Frank, don’t do this to me”

_“I’m sorry if I’m hurting you by crying”_

“It’s not like that… I wish we could be together, I really do, but I’ve made my choice three years ago. I can’t just leave my wife and my daughter behind, I live for them”

_“Well, thanks for that. I know you fucking live for them, I was always the one ready to jump off a cliff if it meant I could be with you. You’d always hesitate around me, touch me with fear that people would find out if you even looked at me the wrong way. I’d die for you, and oh god, I live for you. I helped you through a lot of shit, I tried so hard for you, you have no idea. And I don’t blame you for living for them, hell, I live for my kids and Jamia too, because they fucking recognize what I do for them every day, they know how much I love them. And that’s why they’d understand if I wanted to be with you”_

“I know, Frank, but…”

_“You were fucking scared, like usual”_

“How did this turn into a fight?”

_“I don’t know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called”_

“You make it so fucking hard to be faithful”

_“I love you”_

 

Before Gerard answered, Frank hung up the phone, leaving him listening to the noise the phone made. He sat on the floor, thinking about the whole conversation and the confessions they made once again. He couldn’t do that to himself anymore, he couldn’t think about the what ifs anymore. The distance doesn’t matter, the lack of contact doesn’t either, he would always love Frank, no matter how much time will pass. As he lied on his bed, he whispered to himself “Honey, why did you called me so late?”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this!! - i say while i burn in hell


End file.
